This post is from an a.e. called NiceGuy. If you don’t know what an a.e. is, please don’t bother asking. Ok, moving on, he just wanted to address a relationship issue and I decided to provide the outlet. Read, enjoy and comment!
Well, I’m who I am… A nice guy! Yes, my girls, (ex’s and all) know that, so it’s not just me saying it. Anyway, this piece isn’t really about me. It’s about some people’s disturbing views about relationships. I just don’t know where to start.
First off, I’m the kind of guy that loves deeply. I respect my ladies and expect them to reciprocate. I do my best to stay faithful (which is kinda easy as I do not believe I can handle multiple partners.) In fact, I try to stay away from sex in my relationships (which is easier said than done.) With this sort of attitude to relationships, it’s easy to form a do-or-die mindset since you’re giving everything you feel is right for the relationship and you expect nothing less. From experience (not personal, mind you), however, it’s guys like this that get dumped most often by the ladies.
Now, I’m someone who believes that there’s nothing like ‘just one person for you’. In essence, when any of my relationships fail, I know I’ve given everything to make it work so I just dust myself up and open up to another. It’s been a difficult experience so far but it’s also been rewarding in some areas. I don’t believe sleeping with a lady makes you a superstar so I don’t actually feel bad about nothing going the whole way with her before the relationship ended. In fact, with my fear of the (sorta) spiritual bonding sex creates between lovers, I’m always thankful I didn’t go there. So you can imagine how absurd it sounds to me when a guy wants to date a girl by all means necessary.
How on earth will someone believe that if he/she doesn’t date one person the world must end? Then it gets worse when the person you’re actually chasing up and down is in a solid relationship already. This situation can be viewed from many different angles.
In a relationship, I believe that both of you have to somehow fight for the relationship. There will be issues, problems, temptations and times when you just want to end it, but the strongest relationships endure all these. As much as I don’t believe in the do-or-die mentality, I believe you have to fight for what you believe is yours ‘to a reasonable extent’! Imagine a relationship where there was a serious issue and one of both parties decides the relationship cannot go on. It’s up to the partner to try to get the other back. If the leaving partner is bent on ending it even after various persuasions from the pleading partner, then it may be time to let it go, no matter how hard. If the love is strong enough, it shouldn’t take too long for a leaving partner to have a change of heart.
Like I always say, relationships can never be a one-way street, otherwise it won’t work. Both partners have to share everything within it, especially the love and emotions. Now, when you’re trying to ‘catch’ this girl after you feel there’s so much ‘green light’, and she balks, then there’s room for persistence, especially if she’s single. Putting in a little pressure and perseverance is ok as ladies like to feel wanted most times before giving in. It’s acceptable only for a period of time and that duration can only be determined by common sense (which is quite scarce.) If she keeps blocking you, then it’s reasonable to move on with your life.
But in cases where the lady hints at you that she’s already in a relationship, the rational thing is to leave her be! Except you’re thinking of entering into a ‘three-way’ which won’t happen in this part of the world. Why would you really want to force yourself on a girl who keeps telling you she’s in love with someone else? No matter what you think you have for her, it’s not love if you keep insisting on having her. Life’s not fair and you can’t always have what you want. But then, she’s never going to be ‘the only one’ for you. Best move on with your life and open up to other opportunities. There’s no point making both your lives miserable!
No matter what commitment you think you’ve made into the life of another, it doesn’t make you own them, if not, you would also be a ‘life-slave’ to someone else. I think we can do with a little bit of rationality and common sense in the world today. Open your eyes and see a better future ahead of you, not tied to any one person but to a series of associations and relations with many different people. It’s time we do things the right way, starting with how we think of our relationships with people.
This is just how I see the issue discussed. Comments are welcome.
Thanks Seryx! Out!!
There you have it! Always welcome, NiceGuy! Bye y’all. Till when next we show up.
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.