Val Blues

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day

Ok, I know how that sounds but just hear me out. In fact, who says I don’t have the right to make my Val blue sef. At least all we use to hear about was Red Carpet before someone decided to break the norm and now we have ‘Carpets’ of all kinds of colours. Maybe I can start a Blue Val trend and if I do my job well on twitter, who knows… And besides, Red Val looks a lot like Christmas all over again so…

I’ve just been rambling through the last paragraph as Val Blues really has nothing to do with colours (I don’t know why I just always miss the point early on.) The truth is that Val’s Day is regularly over-hyped, like every other ‘special day’ in the year. And with this over-hype comes a lot of negatives. Thank God the subsidy issue came into our lives! An irony? Well, guys are now thinking twice about the day so much as joking about the cancellation of the day (bbm things) and asking ladies to alternatively spend the day with ‘loved ones’, as if we’re the last on the list. 😐

Anyway, Val Blues is about seeing this day the right way; like every other day. The thing is, with ‘special days’ (such as Christmas) we condition ourselves to do certain things in a certain way. Only thing is, there’s an extra problem with Val’s Day. This is like the certified day of LOVE (often conveniently misinterpreted as SEX) and frequently creates an avenue for the fulfillment of LUSTful desires. Now, Val’s Day can be disputed as a relevant day in itself because I personally have issues with setting aside a special day for love. It is easily misconstrued, as our definition of love itself is way below the original meaning.

This brings me to a point argued on Twitter recently. Statement is: “Love is Never Enough.” As much as I’d love to agree with this statement, I think we often miss the point of love itself. Take a relationship for example, a guy meets a girl, falls in love with her and she falls her own back. Simple. Love is shared! But then, they start having issues when she acts up on irrelevant things or he behaves in certain ways or she says some nasty things in anger or he ignores her for a while. There are a thousand and one things that could, and do, go wrong in such relationships. In this case, it’s easy to say “Love isn’t enough”, but let’s look at it critically, what else is there?

Breakdown: There’s Understanding, a little bit of which goes a long way in any relationship. There’s Respect, something which a whole lot of people believe would easily keep a relationship steady. There’s Patience, which a lot of ladies seem to lack (some guys are also not left out though.) There’s Communication, which is an important component of an effective relationship. There’s Trust, the bedrock of a solid relationship. All these are basic and mainly borne out of individual Character. Almost everything else is secondary; Looks, Financial Status, Career, etc. External factors, such as family, friends and environment, also play significant roles in a relationship, but when it comes down to the two of them, the above-listed are the crux.

Now I ask, why wouldn’t love be enough? And I answer, because we all see love as those butterflies or just the way we feel. So you both love each other but realise that you fight too much, or your ways just don’t match or there’s one thing or another, so you just break up because “love isn’t enough!” I put it to you that what you shared initially wasn’t love. Let me make it clear that love, of any kind, in a one-way direction (only one person falling) will most likely not work, and if managed will often lead to hurt. But in a case where you both claim to share love, it should be ENOUGH! Why? It’s simple. Because love, TRUE LOVE, includes all the above. You have to love him to trust him unconditionally. You have to love her to be patient with her when she acts up. You have to love him to understand his actions and explanations. You have to love her to always want to talk to and confide in her. You have to love him to respect him everywhere, even when you’re alone. You have to love her to forgive her offenses against you. True love has all these things by nature and, therefore, is enough in itself. It carries its own power to solidify and keep any relationship. That’s LOVE!

So, next time you think love isn’t enough, ask yourself if what you have is actually LOVE. As the often cherished Val’s Day approaches, I’d encourage us all to have a rethink. Take the day to re-examine the relationship. If there’s true love shared, you don’t need to ask him before he takes you out or gets you a gift, if he can afford it. He should do it because he knows you’re worth it. And as a lady, your priority shouldn’t be where he’d take you or what he’d get you. If it is, then your relationship isn’t true. You should actually just want to spend meaningful time with him. As a guy, it isn’t a certified day to get into her pants. That should even be the last thing on your mind. If it’s true love, you’re spending a long time together, so why rush? You should just want to give her some special treatment for the day.

As much as I’d not want a day like that to be recognized, it already is so we might as well make meaningful use of it. In my opinion, everything we do on that day should be replicated on a consistent basis throughout the year. Everyday should be special. If you can afford it, get her a new gift everyday. Spend as much time as you can together on a daily basis. Express your love in special ways every single day. Make your relationship lively, think in the long term, keep him/her in your heart always and you’ll find that LOVE is really ALL YOU NEED! Not just on Val’s Day, but every single day you have with the one you truly love.

Let the season of love come, and let it never leave again. St. Valentine’s Day is here. Let’s HAVE love and not just MAKE love! You can only share what you have, and I tell you, love is worth sharing. Treat her special. Treat him like a king. You all are royalty!

To all who do share True Love in this season, I say “HAPPY VAL’S DAY!!!” Enjoy!

I’m Loving Up!!!

What True Love is

What True Love is

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2 thoughts on “Val Blues

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