Leader Leo



This week on the zodiac train, I bring you Leo! Enjoy this piece as the zodiac series continue.

Leo Personality

All Leos of the world can be described using one metaphor – the sun. They want to be a sun giving out light and warmth to the whole world, and to see everyone in their circles thriving in or at least benefitting from their radiance. One other important thing needs to understand is that Leo is the sign of extremities.
People of this Leo sun sign innately want to lead and be a master, but for those they adore and revere, they are ready to become slaves. They are very well organized and do things just the way they ought to be done, but it is also true that they are much better at organizing and systematizing others’ lives than their own. This trait of theirs sometimes borders on bossiness. But all this effort to improve another person’s life comes with an unnatural amount of warmth, kindly encouragement and a promise for help without having to ask, whenever it is needed.
The other thing about Leos is their creative streak – they possess some talent that hardly anyone around them is good at. But they can also be influenced very easily, and are prone to losing out against nagging criticism. They therefore have a great need to be encouraged and shown the right way. In friendships, Leos are very generous and caring, but may also get a little carried away and shower their affections on the wrong person. The same happens in case of love interests, but if the other person is the right one, he/she will find no dearth of kindness and generosity.
Leos are very passionate and very faithful partners, but the problem is their extremely sensitive nature. And this sensitivity is on most occasions eclipsed by their influential and bossy exteriors. So it’s quite possible that their partner may have hurt them in something he/she says without his/her even realizing it. That’s why living with a Leo takes some getting used to.

Leo Qualities and Characteristics

Lion is considered the ruler of the jungle, so also you are the leader of your own world; you exhibit impeccable bravery, superiority and sovereignty. You are expected to achieve extraordinary feats. You have the strength of character to take command of any situation and your presence commands respect and attention. And just like a king, you have a big heart, you are generous and sensitive to others’ feelings.
But again, you are quite egotistical and it’s quite easy to flatter and take advantage of you. At the same time, you tend to be quite self-congratulatory and boastful and at the same time dominating, courting resentment from your peers. Leo is all about ambition and compassion; and at the same time headstrong and a little corrupted by power. But it equally characteristic of you to be contemplative and moody, especially when you are with yourself.
You can get into deep depressions, but the only answer to this problem is self-control, hard work and paying heed to others’ counsel. You show your ambitious and sensitive character with your relationships with the opposite sex. And you are also in quite a bit of luck, but being a little imprudent, it would be ill-advised for you to try your hand at speculation.
Qualities that make you lucky are bighearted, forceful, aristocratic, and affectionate. Qualities that hinder your success are aggressiveness, boastful, haughty, and pride.
Ben Affleck, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, George Bernard Shaw; We know them as famous Leon.

Leo Friendship Compatibility

Leos have a very wide circle of acquaintances and friends and mutual friends. But most of them are just part of their circle of influence, they will deal with them only if a need arises on either side, and even though they are helpful and dependable and all that, they do not take these as their ‘friends’. That takes a lot of time – they form a rapport first, find out the likes and dislikes and more importantly the character of the other person, and only then decide if the other person is right for them. And once they have given him/her that status, the friendship is for a lifetime. They will stop at very little in making sure that friend of theirs is not in any kind of distress.
Even if they have lost touch with their friend for a long time, they do not find it difficult to resume from where they left it. This is because friendship means too much to them. They would themselves not want someone to call them a friend just after a brief acquaintance. They of course like meeting new people, making contacts, enjoying their company and being of use to them whenever need by. But the title of ‘friend’ is too sanctimonious for them to be conferred to too many people.
Once they make a friend, they wanna do a lot for them. For example, if the friend has some talent that he/she wants to show or some project that he/she wants to work on, there can be no one better than the Leo at encouraging and helping out the other person in his/her endeavors. When they become adults, Leos show their generosity by giving away generous presents to their friends children, and taking them to fancy restaurants for dinner. Now, such things may turn on their head and the friends may start thinking that our guy is splashing money at them. Thus, there is always a fine line that should never be crossed. Too bad for the Leo because there is no joy for him/her greater than that of knowing that others derive pleasure from things that he/she gifted them with his/her hard earned money. That is the way of the world, the misers can’t keep everything in and the generous can’t give everything out.

Leo Career and Money

Leos need a profession where they can express themselves fully, shine in a way that all can see, and show of their talent. Even if they have hardly any opportunity to show their talent, they will be happy to just show their work, and be appreciated and noticed for it. A backend job with hardly any responsibilities and total isolation is not their cup of tea. They do not mind if they are made to work in a library or a department store, or made a receptionist at a desk, they want a job where they feel someone is directly benefitting from their services, and also receive accolades and admiration from him for the work they have done.
So their basic objective is to make life a little easier for atleast a few people. And even with all the need for appreciation and commendation, they have this personal yardstick of doing well, and they have to cross that minimum. If not, they will suffer from depression and restlessness. Of course, these bouts keep coming in their lives, when they feel everything is just falling apart and that they are of no use to the society, but there’s no one better at coming out of such states than them. And when they’re out, they will be alive and kicking as ever, and they will go out and make things happen.
Another remarkable characteristic of a Leo is his/her insistence on doing things properly and without flaw. Leos hate amateurs and strive hard at achieving high standards in their output. Whatever their career might be, they show this quality to the fullest and their superiors take notice of this. They soon rise in influence and then boss around people working under them to show perfection and professionalism. They do not want to do things properly, they need to do things properly so that people may take notice. Leos would love nothing more than to stand out as an example. Leos, however, do not shine in time-consuming jobs that they find unnecessary and annoying. And if their superior is, according to them, stupid and incompetant, and demands being sucked up to, then the Leo will be the first to give it to him in the face, without caring about the job. They need appreciation and opportunity, but not at the cost of their honour!

Leo in Love and Romance

When a Leo falls in love, he/she falls very hard and very quick. He/she will shout out and declare to the world that he loves such and such a person. Leos are full of zest and vitality when it comes to love, sex and relationships, and for this reason they give a lot and expect a lot in return. Sure they are let down at times, sure there are some heartaches and sad moments, but that’s a part of the Leo way of life. And you what – many years later, at old age, when they look back upon their lives, they experience happiness, nostalgia, sadness too, but never regret. So as the sun shines out through the clouds, the Leo keeps enjoying life without losing his/her vitality even with all the setback he/she suffers in life.
The Leo’s enthusiasm and verve makes the partner enjoy all the things that the Leo enjoys. It happens almost naturally, and takes hardly any persuation. One thing the Leo and his/her partner need to realize is that even in the most intimate of relationships, sharing interests and combined enjoyment are required as a lubricant is required for smooth running of a machine. And this need is experienced all the more by the Leo.
Leos express their creativity and passion in their sexual life quite skillfully and also set up the atmosphere needed for the work up to the love making with an impeccable dexterity. They set the pace of the relationship and never give up. The partners are very content with this attitude and hardly ever have a reason to complain. The only glitch, however, is that in setting up the scene, the Leo may become a little too overwhelming for the partner. He/she might forget that the partner might be a little shy and the situation might be too hot to handle. Thus it is sometimes necessary for the Leo to supress his/her need to be appreciated and noticed all the time, even though it is his/her prime priorities.

Leo in Marriage

Leos want to enjoy marriage to the fullest, just like any other enterprise they they step into. And marriages start with weddings; so whether it’s a man or a woman, the Leo would want to wait for the wedding until enough money is in hand, so that all the arrangements can be made – the full church ceremony, the extravagant reception and the honeymoon – to measure up to the his/her dream wedding. After the wedding, Leos put all their time and effort into making the marriage a fulfilling one. They encourage their partners to follow their convictions and ambitions to the fullest.
However, in doing so, the Leo can himself/herself be imposing his/her convictions on the partner. He/she may get imposing and untolerable to the extreme. And what’s more, when being criticized, he/she will not listen, leave alone owning up to the criticism. And if you are a Leo, you shouldn’t take this the wrong way – it comes naturally to you. In your enthusiasm for the partnership, you get so involved in getting the best out of it that you don’t realize that you’re crossing the line. If the partner is a little less assertive, then the Leo might always have it his/her way and not even realize the fact that it is not at all good for the relationship. In a relationship, what’s more important than deciding on something that’s best for both in a monetary or domestic situation, is there being a balance. In order to do this, the Leo should think of the things that he/she wants most when he/she does something for the spouse, and return the same things when the spouse does something for him/her.
Leos never forget what it was like to be a child, being treated like a child and not being explained things properly. So they never treat their children like children. They treat them the way the wish they were treated – with respect, and in doing so, gain the respect of their children. There will be no baby talk or coochee-cooing when they need to tell their kids they love them, so that a strong, sensible relationship is built right from the start. The parent should only make sure that he/she does not become domineering.

And that is all on Leo. Follow up next week as we continue the zodiac series.

Thank you for reading!

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It Only Gets Tougher

A ‘wise’ man once said, “If they can afford to buy a bottle of Coke for 50 naira, then they should be able to buy fuel for 50 naira.” (Maybe not the exact words but its the exact message.) The same man also advised, “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” The first statement reeks of serious stupidity as the basis for such comparison is utterly brainless. Now, with the second, more popular statement coming from the same man, it only follows that he must have made it under the same influence of brainless intoxication.

Anyway, now we’re already buying fuel at 65 naira and we’re not complaining, maybe grumbling, but not complaining. So ultimately, the ‘wise’ man might have been right afterall. Since we’re still buying a bottle of Coke at 50 naira, I guess the next competition should be LaCasera at 100 naira. But then, it seems the present government is bent on outdoing the ‘wise’ man’s own, hence, the Fuel Subsidy hoax. The fact is, when fuel subsidy is ‘removed’, the new ‘lucky’ man, who is an indirect protege of the ‘wise’ man will be on point to tell us, “Since you can afford to buy a bottle of beer for 200 naira,…” Ok, then it starts getting scary.

Looking back at the ‘Coke Period’ of the ‘wise’ man, we can still boast of drinking a bottle, at least, once a year, even if it’s that one time we gate-crash the closest ‘Owambe’ party. But looking forward to the ‘Beer Period’ of the ‘lucky’ man is not something palatable to the mind. For one, it will be the period of the elite few, as those of us that cannot afford a bottle of beer (or don’t even take it, for that matter) will be left to suffer. In this ‘in-between’ era where more parties are developing the habit of buying pure water in excess while hoarding the soft drinks (and forget the ‘hard’ ones cos they’re not available), we’re in for harder times if we ever get to see the ‘Beer Period’. Na serious issue o!

Despite all I’ve said, this fuel thing is just ‘by the way’, the main issue is connected to the ‘wise’ man’s second statement. As apt as the statement may sound, it was rightly criticised when it was uttered. But today, it seems in the ‘lucky’ man’s bid to outdo his mentor, he has silently told us, “Education IS expensive! Ignorance is your ONLY option!” Ok, he may not be directly involved but he’s still at the helm, so he still carries the blame.

Imagine my outburst when I discovered that the new LASU school fees will be 250,000 naira, up from the previous 25,000. I mean I was in shock! This was a school I paid 5,050 naira to get into just over 10 years back and paid 250 & 150 naira as school fees at various times before I graduated. It is so ridiculous, especially coming from a state university. For those who can afford to pay, there’s no point not sending their kids to a private university with more efficient school administration system.

Frankly, I thought about this and it looks like they’re trying to make sure the poor get crushed massively. What with fuel subsidy ‘removal’ making it seriously hard to feed and expensive education making it hard to even prepare for the future. It’s kinda easy for some of us to step back and say we’re not concerned, at least, we’re lucky it didn’t happen while we were still schooling. But we would fail to realise that we’re getting to be parents already.

Well, through all these, positives can be taken out, especially with respect to education. The thing is, higher education is generally over-hyped here in Naija. I’ve always said that the basic level of education anyone needs to really survive is the Secondary School. At that level, you can read, write, express yourself and understand clearly. With these basic skills, you’re ready to make something of your life. I guess what I’m saying is, with the way the cost of education is rising phenomenally, the schooling generation may be forced to look more inward and unleash their creative talent. This is very important and will be a major boost to the society as a whole.

That said, if this subsidy thing eventually happens, we might on a wrong collision course, as these young people might start getting creative in the wrong areas. Forget Ocean’s Eleven style kind of robbery, I’m talking development of bombs and nuclear materials to destroy the erring political class. Y’know, next level Boko-style. In the end, it may all backfire on the ‘lucky’ man. They want to stifle the common man, only this way, the common man ends up eliminating himself, the society and ensures he annihilates the orchestrators along the line. In the end, what goes around often comes around!

Me I don talk my own. Foreseeing all these, I’m so prepared, as soon as the signs start showing, I’m off to Cotonou. Some of us will have to rebuild and start from the scratch now. Abi?

Here’s where I rest my case. Thanks for reading.

Signing Out!!!

Warning to the Government!

Warning to the Government!

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Way Back When

Times have changed and we have barely noticed. If you don’t believe me, then have you ever thought about what it was like back then without mobile phones? I’m sure you still don’t believe those days ever existed just like we still don’t believe our parents and grandparents ever walked those distances to schools and farms. The truth is, with change always comes a natural adaptation that never make it seem like it was a change in the first place. Its just like an erasure of past events and a presentation of new ones. Today, I bring something from another discussion with my friends at work.

Recently, various updates have been flying around bb world, and even facebook, about the kinda life those of us born in the late 70’s, 80’s, and maybe early 90’s, had. A sample goes thus:

“I was BORN in the 80’s. The last SANE generation! We are the last generation that played in the street. We were the first who played video games, saw cartoons with no color & went to the amusement parks. We were the last to record songs off the radio on cassettes. We are the pioneers of Walkmans & chat rooms. We learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, played the Atari, ten-ten, boju-boju, Nintendo (NES & SNES then) & believed that the Internet would be a free world. We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, the Transformers (original cartoon series o), Scooby doo, Voltron, Super Ted, Willi Willi, G.I. JOE & Tales by Moonlight. We traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags, lived without cell phones, rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We never had phones but still kept in touch. We did not have Sony PlayStation, Xbox, or 99 television stations. Rather we waited till 4pm for dear NTA to watch interesting TELE MATCH. We had no flat screens, surround sound, mp3 players, iPod, computers & the Internet, but nevertheless we had a GREAT Time!!!”

It really was a great life back then. I still contend that we enjoyed the best childhood. We seem to have had the best of both worlds. Our parents were already adults when technology started going really crazy, thereby having limited time with products that were more fun to use. The present day children have lost most of the natural part of childhood. Everything seems ‘gadgety’ now.

The advent of video games was witnessed by our generation and we continue to evolve with it. We were there when computers weren’t so commonplace. We were the ones that enjoyed cartoons the most, I mean REALLY enjoy! It was kinda balanced back then, though. They weren’t this many so you simply can’t lose track of school work. In fact, the fact that we had to wait till 4pm for T.V. stations to open was indeed a blessing to us. It seems like it’s the reason why we have arguably the highest number of brilliant, intelligent minds. Back then, you simply don’t just send text messages, emails, e-cards and the likes to catch a babe. You can’t even call sef. Your brain has to work for you as you ‘put pen to paper’ and write the “doxologies”, “dittos”, et al, with lots of similes and metaphors, not forgetting the poems. We were simply brilliant!

Coming natural, due to the fact that television wasn’t so ‘attractive’ (in every sense of the word) until 4pm, we had to develop different games to keep ourselves occupied. We played with sand, sticks and stones. We climbed trees, plucked fruits, caught ladybirds and made cages to catch birds. We came up with table soccer, flying kite, biro fights, paper fights, tyre rolling and so on. We continued, and modified, ten-ten, suwe, boju-boju, sand castles, street soccer, and much more! Are you still doubting our creativity? We really spent time together with lots of group games. Do you ever wonder why we seem to be the ones that have the most friends from the past? Back then you just don’t go solo.

We were the ones that anticipated and appreciated Xmas, Boxing day & New Year’s day the most. We blew bangers and knockouts back then without any fear, we even had street versus street competitions. You really felt the year turning new when you’re at ‘watchnight’ because the streets will be almost impassable after church. Getting home, if you ain’t having the party, you’re having a party. It was really fun!

We took secondary school life to the next level having competitions in almost any area you can think of (Bournvita Brain Match is a nice example). We had the Good, the Bad & the Ugly too, only we remodeled and renamed a lot. We invented and told the most jokes (including most that are still being told in schools today.) We modified popular songs to school anthems and vice versa. We had the school fights at interhouse sports. We were the generation that had that one student who is the ‘Strongest boy’ and we also had the record-breakers, especially in academics. ‘Microchipping’ wasn’t so easy back then. You must have something in your brains to ‘microchip’ successfully. We also had some of the most inventive punishments like ‘fry dodo’, ‘thumb sucker’, ‘push the car’ and the likes. We also chop cane die!

Seriously, I look at our generation and I see lots of potential world changers! We’ve had a very balanced childhood, enjoying the best nature had to offer us while also not losing touch with what technology always has to give. Looking back then and comparing with now, I’d say ‘The Difference is Clear’. We should cherish those memories and we can always look back and say, ‘What a Delicious Experience!’

This particular post is meant to gear us up to see what we’ve had and know what is expected of us. We’re the next set of leaders and CEOs. Let’s make our generation proud as we gradually step into the tiny shoes the previous generation is leaving. We’re wiser, better, more intelligent, very team-focused, creatively gifted and highly equipped to ensure there’ll be bigger shoes to fill by the next generation. Let’s do this guys!

*Raising glass* To all those born in the time period stated above! *drinks ‘Pito’* Thank you for reading through.

Signing Out!!!

This is who I am!

This is who I am!

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Cautious Cancer



This zodiac post is coming quite late but it’s here all the same. Enjoy the latest post from the zodiac series.

Cancer Personality

Cancerians are very defensive creatures – defensive of themselves, their friends and family. They have a very strong and formidable defensive fort in his psyche. He is not intimidated that easily and can sometimes take an aggressive stand in order to protect himself emotionally from transgresses of others. Anyone who intentionally or unintentionally jeopardizes their or their close ones’ dignity or self-respect, you will feel fended off or even pinned down. But if you persevere and gain their trust with time (which you most definitely will if your intensions are honest), you will see the soft, caring and considerate inner self – because now you are one of the protected.
Their family is very important for them, and comes at the top in the list of priorities. They make excellent parents, but are not so good at letting go of their children when the situation requires it which again tells us about their protective self. They also happen to be very emotional and often fall into the depths of nostalgia. No wonder they have an excellent memory – they hardly miss a piece of detail about their past. Cancerian children start out being extremely sensitive and emotionally fragile, but with time they develop their protective and affectionate self. So if you see your Cancerian kid taking care of a younger brother or sister or the family pet, be sure that your kid is growing up.
To their loved ones, Cancerians present their most soft and mellow self. So they may overreact to incidents and tend to be very moody at times. But they are very sensual and can be the best of companions. They can get hurt by their companions very easily, but are in no way weak. They can strike back with equal force and venom.

Cancer Qualities and Characteristics

Cancerians are considered to be quite unsophisticated from the inside and prone to move around in search of the right opportunity. It is also a widely accepted notion that they are sensitive and protective. They don’t find it difficult to blend in the environment, and at the same time, are also quite attached to their family.
But there are quite many other facets to your personality. You have special love for the spotlight, and the desire to be admired and loved is very dominant in your character. You are very touchy, and get emotional a lot more often than others. You sense of purpose for everything you do, and you are ready to endure anything if you feel the end result is worth it.
You will move in all directions to reach you destination, and this makes things possible for you that no other person around you can manage to pull off. This also increases your money making opportunities, and you might well make your way into large money-making firms. You have an innate feeling of insecurity and timidity, and this prevents you from taking risks and thereby inhibits your growth.
You have strong likes and dislikes and preconceived notions. Talking about your sex drive, you clearly exhibit your intrinsic craving for proximity. You need intimacy from your mate, failing which you develop a wall between you and your mate. To top it all, you have a fascination for money and all the luxuries that it can bring to your feet.
Qualities that make you lucky are understanding, imaginative, desire to success, and trustworthiness. Qualities that hinder your success are moodiness, pride, pessimism, and tendency to get hurt easily.
Pamela Anderson, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Princess Diana, Sylvester Stallone; We know them as famous Cancerians.

Cancer Friendship Compatibility

Cancerians make very good friends. They sure as hell don’t make a lot of friends – most potential candidates are fended of because of a faux pas they commit at some point. But the few chosen ones form a part of the inner circle and make for a very firm and deeply meaningful friendship.
If you are a young Cancerian, you would be very willing to take your friends home and introduce them to your family, and if you are a parent, then you might want your children to bring their friends home and familiarize them to the family. This shows a strong family circle and also the fact that Cancerians do not quite differentiate friends from family. This is because they do not rush into friendships. They take some time with the other person, see if you make a good rapport with him/her, and only then allow him/her into their circle. This comes naturally to them.
The risky part here is that if the friend here is a little younger than the Cancerian, that the latter may start to behave like a parent – he/she might start acting in a very protective fashion, and treating him/her as a child. Since the friend is just a little younger than you and a friend, by definition, he/she will resent it. But the Cancerian can’t help it – it comes naturally to you.
You can’t just sit down and see a younger friend make the same mistakes that you did a few years ago and suffer in the same fashion. He/she will just have to curb his/her natural tendencies.
However, Cancerians have the ability and the habit of turning a close group of friends into a kind of family. They are also very good at patching things up with their friends, or even between two friends. People will love them for that and remember them forever.

Cancer Career and Money

Cancerians are good at getting used to conditions and fitting into almost any kind of working conditions. We talked about their psychological protective mechanism – this helps them from getting bouyed down from distressing conditions brought about by colleagues or the natural state of the workspace.
The problem with them, however, is that they tend to get a little too attached with petty issues, and thus end up worrying about their career more than necessary. Now their careers are important for them, so they have to worry about it; it comes naturally to them. So they can’t just stop worrying just because you tell them to do so. What they need to do is to get used to the daily routine. They have these ups and downs in their mood, like the waves of an ocean. Getting used to these changes in their psyche, making sufficient changes in their style of work in a reciprocal manner, and if possible trying to like these changes will make them that much stronger at facing issues related to them. So what they need to fight is within them, nothing outside their psyche can cause any harm to them.
Cancerians should take up jobs that have an element of doing good to the community because they have that protective streak within them. They will make good teachers preparing their pupils to face the world, good captains fulfilling every need of their ship crew and passengers and good chefs preparing excellent dishes for their customers. The will probably make the best doctors and nurses.
An issue worth noting for Cancerian mothers is that they will make excellent moms, but that will mean giving up their careers, at least for a while, in order to take care of children after birth. Not all Cancerian moms will do this, but it’s are very prominent trait; in fact they do not take it as an obstruction, but rather as a privilege. But if such mothers wish to get back into the trade, it would be advisable for them to keep in touch with the changes taking place in their professional sphere.

Cancer in Love and Romance

Attractions can be deceptive – you believe this and truly implement it in your life if you are a Cancerian. You will not approach any person that you are attracted to in any sort of way and try to move things forward. You keep yourself at a safe distance for a while and analyze the other person. You see if he/she is good enough for you, if things will actually move forward, whether you feel you really can start meaningful relationship with the other person or it’s just a temporary infatuation.
In doing so, if the person in question tries to approach you then you might even take evasive action. Once Cancerians have made up mind in favor of an approach, it will not be very difficult for them to make things happen, they are naturally talented for that. On the other hand, if Cancerians are the one being pursued (which obviously applies a lot more for women than for men), no matter of what kind the first approach is, the first reaction will be a defensive one. How smoothly you do this without letting the pursuer feel hurt depends on your skill.
But that initial barrier will just take a few minutes to melt down in which time they will make up their mind. One of the most important factors, if not the most important factor, will be to what extent you are attracted to this person. All this might sound a little unromantic, but it might be the right thing to do at that moment for quite a lot of reasons.
Cancerians are very sensual, loving and caring and make for excellent lovers. They are really good at making their partners feel they’re being taken care of. On a special occasion, they will meticulously take care of every little thing, and make the whole experience a very memorable one for their lover.
The basic problem with them is their highly moody nature. You can never be sure how they will feel and behave at a particular point in time, they themselves cannot. So if the mood is not right, they might make some really nasty comments which might be more detrimental than just spoiling an evening. After all, Cancerians are not the only ones with a good memory. The only way out of this fix is that Cancerians guard their tongues at all times, and their partners understand their nature and forgive and forget any transgression from their companion as an unintentional one.

Cancer in Marriage

Cancerians are naturally keen to marry – it is not that they feel very lonely or anything when they are alone; after all they have very good family ties and a lovely circle of friends. It’s just that tying the knot with someone and having a family of their own is very enticing for them. Even when they live alone, they do things that are really fulfilling in a familial sort of way.
Women might become nursery teachers or nurses in children’s hospital. You have it in you to make excellent spouses and excellent parents. And while they do all they can to make their domestic life better, don’t expect them to give up on their professional endeavors the least bit. They will make the most of all opportunities that come their way – after all, their work is their instrument for providing their family with everything it needs.
Cancerians, however, have a very grave problem – they need to tackle the career versus family issue. They want to work hard and make a lot of money so that they can provide their family with all kinds of luxuries and provisions, but again they have a strong impulse to be with their spouse and children spend quality time with them. This impulse is a lot stronger with women, who would want to take care of their children, cook their favourite dish, help them with their homework, and take care of their husbands when they come home from work. But at some point, they have to do the balancing act, and in this they struggle.
Cancerians no doubt have a strongly sensual side that will keep their drive alive for years. This drive will fight demands of their work atmosphere and everything, but the real opposition comes from domestic life. Tending growing children and taking care of them can take away all of your sexual impulses from you. When such things happen, the couple should think about the better of the family, and not just in terms of their ruined sexual life.

That’s all for Cancer. The zodiac series continues with “the Lion”, Leo, this weekend.

Have a great week!

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Double Gemini



The Zodiac train continues with Gemini taking the centre-spot today. Have a good read and don’t forget to check with your friends.

Gemini Personality

For all the people you see in your workplace, pegging along at a slow pace, working on things that are too linear to test any kind of ability or intelligence of any person and taking care of the same mundane tasks every single day with the sole objective of making a living, there is one thing you can be pretty damn sure of – they are definitely not Geminians.
Of all the great tragedies and maladies of the world, nothing terrorizes the Geminian more than boredom. They are, since birth, used to multitasking. They just can’t go about life one issue at a time. Parents might find this amusing, but they should nonetheless try not to encourage it. Doing too many things at once from a young age spoils their sense of style and brings about a trait that is most common in Geminians – superficiality. For them, after a point, all that looks good is good enough. They become a jack of all trades and start concentrating only on the packaging. In some professions such as ones relating to media, however, that is exactly what you need from a person – a little knowledge of almost everything, but not too much. So it’s not such a bad thing after all. In the workplace, it is important that they have as many projects as they can, so that they may work on whichever they have the mood to work on at that moment.
Alas, this multitasking capability is too innate to your nature – you start exhibiting this characteristic even in your love life. That does not bring a lot of happiness for your partner. This does not always raise issues relating to guilt, although normally it should (otherwise one should think something’s wrong). In such tricky situations, what helps the Geminian more than anything else is his/her great ability to talk his/her way out.
On a professional and even personal level, the characteristic of a Geminian is vigor. He/she happens to be restless and energetic to the extreme – that’s what gives him/her the resources for all that multitasking. But this can take a toll on the person. The Geminian can never completely let go of things and relax, and this will be the cause of mental troubles.

Gemini Qualities and Characteristics

Gemini signifies the dual edged nature that you possess. You have a great mind that does a lot more than calculate and judge. You are inquisitive and new and unique ideas come to you quite naturally, and these do not lack any of the style and elegance.
Your twin edge makes you quite determined and stationary but capricious from time to time, you are sincere in your relationship with your sweetheart but at the same time have a tendency to flirt with other women. So, you are quite swift and take command over the situation in no time, but it’s difficult for you to stay on top, or maintain the lead. You also have a tendency to reach out to people; this is why you cannot live without communicating.
You are quite astute and opportunistic and don’t miss a chance to make fast money. Corresponding to this, you also spend with quite ease. You are quite smart and funny and this attracts people to you all the more, but you need to be more objective and focused towards your goal. You seem to be quite susceptible to changes in your mood, and this will only lead to greater loss of the sense of purpose. Try to gain control of yourself.
Qualities that make you lucky are wittiness, brilliancy, cheery, and gay. Qualities that hinder your success are messy, happy-go-lucky, cruelty, and incompatible.
Johnny Depp, Steffi Graf, Elizabeth Hurley, Anna Kournikova, Prince William; We know them as famous people with sun in Gemini.

Gemini Friendship Compatibility

Gemini definitely have the most diverse group of friends of all the sun signs. Gemini make friends from all age groups, all places and cultures, and all walks of life. You need the variety so that you can be able to be with the right kind of people according to the mood. You are a natural skeptic, but still you take people for what they are; which means you generally see people in good light. As a result, it is not very hard to call someone your friend. Your doors are always open – it’s not really hard for you to make a friend; neither is it hard for the other person to be called your friend and have your confidence. But, as is the problem with such groups, there is hardly one who can be depended on and called for help when you need it.
You are enthusiastic about your hobbies and almost anything you do, and this spreads on to your circle of friends. This in turn encourages you to pursue your endeavors more vigorously. This is exactly what empowers you to relentless make efforts on projects and see deals through to their completion. Having intelligent and informed peers in that group helps you a lot. How? You normally like to make sweeping statements to entertain your audience, but a smart person with a good presence of mind can question you and pose a challange for you. You will not get away that easily with those thought-provoking comments now because someone is really provoked. Thus, your skills and quality of conversation will improve greatly.
You will enjoy the company of the young and youthful more, as they share your vigor and enthusiasm, and radical outlook. However, you do not mind an interesting conversation even if it comes from the older friends of yours. You will need to do a little rethinking once in a while about the extent to which you can give liberty to these friends of yours.

Gemini Career and Money

Geminians possess a level of genius generally not witnessed in people, but in quite many ways, it creates problems for people they work with. They find it difficult to run on the much trodden path, and on many an occasion want to find a way of their own. No matter what their colleagues might think or say, I think they should continue with it, because it works excellently well for them. Moving along, Geminians are good at keeping pace with the latest developments of their trade. And it’s not just for the sake of keeping in touch, they enjoy it and learn from it. They like working in some kind of a pattern where they know, more or less, what they will be dealing with the next day, and be prepared for it. But they definitely can’t bare a mundane job where there is no skill or dexterity involved and an employee has to do the same thing in the same way day in and day out. However, even in such cases, they will try to find out new ways, introduce new concepts and throw new light on tasks that people would find too routine and boring to even think about. If not anything else, they will try to lighten the atmosphere with some kind of comic act. Geminians are definitely good at amusing seniors and coworkers.
All of the observations I have made, actually, boil down to one need that all Geminians possess – the need to communicate with people. In the professional sphere, it might translate to interacting with people they work with and trying to find out their needs and issues, meeting superiors, discuss philosophies and methodologies of working in the organization and suggesting new ideas, and if possible talking to the people who benefit from their work and taking appreciation and criticism for their output. They can’t just do something they are told to do, give the output and then just forget about it; they are too attached to their work to be that cold.
In the long run, Geminians can only sustain a job in which they have sufficient freedom to exercise their ingenuity, and be able to do things their way without any restrictions. They want to be known as skilled craftsmen in their profession, and take pride in the different approach they have towards tasks. They might survive a long while in an unsatisfying job, but it’s not good for their emotional and intellectual fulfillment.

Gemini in Love and Romance

In keeping with Gemini extrovert side, if you think you have fallen in love with someone, you will not waste a second in telling that person that you love him/her. If you are a little too romantic, you might keep beating round the bush, making all kinds of arrangements, and finally screwing up the end game. This is because romanticism and the normal Geminian extrovert and confident nature do not go hand in hand. Otherwise, normally, you have the gift of the gab, as they say. So, you can actually say it even while not saying it; that is, by making up stories and beautifying the conversation, you will put your point across without any shadow of doubt. But when it’s the partner talking and expressing himself/herself, you might tend to get a little restless. It’s natural to you, but definitely not excuse. No matter how impatient you get, no matter how much you may think the other person is wasting time and not coming to the point, you should not interrupt and neither should you engage in other activities. This might terribly irritate you partner, as this might be one of the most important moments of his/her life.
Coming to the sex life, you need to satisfy your need for change and variety. A little experimentation and a few surprises will not go out of the way, but for that, you will have to talk to your partner, and make sure he/she is cool with it. Now comes the issue of wanting more than one companion. The thing is that Geminians want the most of everything, so that it is hard for them to imagine all of them to come from one person. They have physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs, and for each of them, they might have a different partner. So they have different partners for different needs, they do not prefer one over the other, or love one more than the other. But that is no consolation for the partner. What they need to do is to be more careful about compatibility in all the four departments with the other person before moving forward with the relationship, and then training themselves to fulfil all their needs from the same person. Unfortunately for them, their natural tendencies are looked upon as cheating by the society.

Gemini in Marriage

Things have got to be really messed up in order that you may panic and want to find escape from a marriage; because that’s how good you really are at making relationships work. And it’s not just one or two talents, your whole personality is made for it. You are good at forming a rapport with the other person, and making him/her tell his/her feelings without any kind of fear or shyness. They can sort out almost any issue just by talking with the partner. And this is also because of their impeccable level of understanding. The can without difficulty relate someone else’s point of view with their own. The only problem is that sometimes all they need to do is listen, but instead they listen out, make their own argument and present it in such a way that the other person is completely made to change his/her stand.
You are naturally enthusiastic about stuff and have the knack of taking things on a light note. This is what makes you look a lot younger and energetic than you really are and makes you very popular among individuals of the other sex. This ability of yours of making every moment of your companion a very enjoyable and memorable one takes you places and allows you to have experiences that you never thought possible.
So you will do a lot with your life. But sometimes it’s necessary to just cool down and enjoy the quieter moments of life, when there is nothing much happening to fulfil your spirit, but there is still juice in the moment which can be absorbed only if you are ready to accept the occasion for what it is. The point I’m trying to make is that you are like a tourist all the time willing to go new places, meet new people and know new things just for the excitement, but what you are missing is the real feel associated with being in that place, and being with those people. Sacrificing emotional and spiritual moments for physical and intellectual satisfaction is not prudent according to me. Another important thing to remember is that Geminians stand for equality in a marriage at all levels, so they might not always be happy with their role – they might wanna swap portfolios with their partners. And there’s nothing wrong with it; if nothing else, it will just bring a change in life and make one understand the other more.

That’s all on Gemini today. Next week we roll on with stuff on Cancerians.

Thanks for reading through.

Have a great weekend!

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Bursting At The Seams

You have to commend the Nigerian government for planning strategies that might in the long run earn it a place in the U.N. “Hall of Aim”.

This week, the world woke up to the realisation that the world population has ‘suddenly’ hit 7 billion and a few of us were rightly concerned about the development. The thing is, the fact that an extra billion has been added to the number of people alive in about just 12 short years shows how good the health system worldwide has become. But we have to be generally concerned about the ‘overcrowding’ effects.

Coming back to the Naija issue, I heard the government is planning another National Identity card scheme (which they claim will be different from the previous ones just like the previous ones were different from the previous-previous ones) and I thought to myself, what could be the idea behind this? It didn’t take long to see what the overall plan is. Foreseeing the eventual population blow-up, the Nigerian Government decided to take ‘proactive’ steps to tackle it and also keep records.

“How will it work?”, you ask. Well, so simple. They start the I.D. Card scheme and subtly take an estimate of the current Nigerian population (remember we’re the most populous black nation), then they take out fuel subsidy and, BAAMM!! A chain reaction is set off and in under one year, if we don’t reduce the numbers alive through various violent crises (as we know Nigerians, like you and me, are always afraid to fight), it would have to happen through starvation & cannibalism! Before GoodLuck finally leaves us, another population stat will be taken. The U.N. will find that world pop has actually gone back down significantly to before the 7 bill mark and there the ‘Hall of Aim’ award will be handy.

Ok, really there could be reason to be worried about the phenomenal rise in pop. A group of people are concerned about the fact that Mother Earth might not be able to support us much longer. I’m not really disturbed by that sha, at least, if we become too much, and by consequence too heavy, earth will just start falling into one abyss carrying all of us with it, and some of us might be ‘lucky’ enough to even fall out and experience space like we’ve been seeing on TV. :). What I’m really concerned about is the fact that the more people we have, the crazier the world gets. It’s the truth! Just check out the stats:

The first billion in world pop was in 1804 and it took another 123 years before another billion was added in 1927. Between that time and now, (a time difference of 84 years) we added a whopping 5 billion more. Is it a coincidence that some of the worst crimes in human history have been committed during this time or some of the weirdest things have happened? No! Along with increase in the number of people comes a regeneration of crazy thoughts and ideas and subsequent decline in human values. It’s like somebody wakes up one day and decides to ‘do the world a favour’ by reducing its pop a lil’ (Columbia school massacre for instance) and more crazy stuff occur on daily basis.

Alongside the crazy things that happen are also the possibilities that we might run out of space to live in. Some countries are already preparing for that though. As Mother Earth decided to make herself 70% water, they have also decided to make those waters habitable. A good example is the Palm Islands off the coast of UAE. But nature is so balanced that it won’t take any cheating, it retaliates by eating off part of the coast in return so the idea ends up looking like a bad one. We may be helpless afterall! Ha!

Beyond that, feeding issues could develop. This one that it already seems as if the food we’re producing is not even enough to feed us all, lots of people might end up seeing more food on the Food Channel than physically and then the most basic kind of pop control will be resorted to. We’ll have to start eating one another out of both hunger and anger! We’re in serious trouble o!

Anyway, as a good citizen of the world, I decided to take a look at the causes of the phenomenal increase and possible solutions so I came up with the following:

1. Health Services: Improvement in this area has been touted as the major cause of pop explosion. Those days when u could die of a slight headache because no Panadol was available are gone. Now, even the most complicated diseases can be managed. The number of babies and mothers dying at childbirth have drastically reduced. In fact, it’s a surprise we’re just reaching 7 bill since.
iSuggest: We should close some of the best medical facilities until further notice. Medical research should henceforth be illegal. Anyone found funding or, in any way, participating in it will be sentenced to death by hanging (helps further decrease in world pop). M.P.s’ paychecks should be slashed by 90%. That should make them think of other professions (farming will make a meaningful shift).

2. Technology: This has, in no small way, contributed immensely to the increase in the number of people in the world community. How do they carry out successful transplants? U guessed right! Tech gadgets have aided “Number 1” so much that it’s almost impossible for any new killer disease to exist for long. But “Number 2” didn’t just stop there, no. With the invention of the internet, it has become a serious problem keeping porn out of homes. And with that menace comes an increase in the urge to ‘practise’, especially among young people. Now, we’re getting the results.
iSuggest: Technology has the tendency to be used for extreme good or evil so we can take advantage of that. Bad or faulty products have done their part in stemming the tide of pop growth. So a conscious increase in the production of such should ensure yearly mortality rates quadruple. We will have to shut down every manufacturer of medical techs. All hospital equipment should be banned from use for the next 10 years. By then enough people should have gone the way of the grave and our precious pop should be reading below 5 bill. Strict penalties against porn (death, for instance) for both producers and ‘consumers’ alike, should take care of that side.

3. Sex Education: Believe it or not, a major contributing factor to the world pop is that younger people are reproducing like mad. And what is the cause of this? Yeah, I know we’ve stated one above but this one is more subtle. Parents think they’re doing the right think but most of them probably never heard the saying that “Curiosity Killed the Cat.” It’s just like when your mom just finished cooking a delicious pot of soup and you probably didn’t know anything about it, then she calls you in your room and says, “Don’t touch the meat in that soup”, before going out. You and I both know exactly what you’d do. The same thing applies to sex talks. They talk to us about it and we start wondering (like Adam & Eve) “why don’t they want us to go there?” We eventually try to check for ourselves and then we contribute our quota to the ‘wrong’ side of world stats. I’m pretty sure stuff like this were never spoken of in the Elizabethan Era, even through to the Victorian period. Little wonder world pop then was under serious ‘control’. Now look at what we have! It’s no coincidence!
iSuggest: We simply have to outlaw Sex Education (both home & school). Period!

My research still goes on as this is an on-going project. I will appreciate any support from you guys. By the way, we’re still looking for that 7 billionth kid. His/her f**k up needs to be treated as soon as possible!

Thank you for joining in the fight against world population explosion.

Have a great weekend!!!

I’m Outta Here! *peace*

We may need to get some people out for the rest of us to survive, abi?

We may need to get some people out for the rest of us to survive, abi?

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BB Funnies!

U go fear fear

U go fear fear

This week, though a lil’ later than usual, I bring you a couple of interesting jokes from the BBM world. Enjoy!

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with
her for #10,000. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he
did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a
cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.”

… On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the
whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
cheque for #5,000 and enclose the following typed note:

“Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for #5,000 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending
the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:

1 – it had never been occupied;
2 – there was plenty of heat; and
3 – it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn’t
any heat, and that it was entirely too large.”

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for #5,000
with the following note:

“Dear Sir:
First, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to
remain unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.

Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you
don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present

What is Stress!!!
You gave a lift to a beautiful girl,
she fainted inside your car & u took her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful,
But at the hospital d Doc said she is pregnant & congratulated u dat u’re going to be a father
You denied, but the girl said you are.
This is getting very stressful
To prove Your not D father , U requested for a DNA test.
After the tests, the doctor said you are Sterile and can’t impregnate a woman &
You are extremely stressed but relieved.
But On your way home, you suddenly remembered you have 3 kids at home…
Who the Hell is their father?

A female teacher was having problems with a boy in her class of 3rd graders.
The boy said,”Ma’am, I should b in 4th grade, I’m smarter than my sis & she’s in 4th grade’.
The teacher had had enough of his complaints & took d boy to the Principal’s office.
She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know.
Principal: What’s 3+3?
Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6?
Boy: 12
& so on..
The Principal asked the boy many questions & d boy got them right.
The Principal then asked the teacher to send the boy to 4th grade.
She decided to ask some more questions & the Principal agreed.
Teacher: What does a cow have 4 of that I’ve only 2 of?

Boy: Legs

Teacher: What’s in your pants that you have but I dont have?

Boy: Pockets

Teacher: What starts with a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal’s eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubble Gum

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I?

Boy: Tent

The principal was looking restless.

Teacher: A finger goes in me. U fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

Boy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When Ï’m not well, I drip. When u blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose

Teacher: I’ve a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.


Teacher: What starts wit ‘F’ & ends with a ‘K’ & if you don’t get it, you have to use ur hand?

Boy: Fork

Teacher: What’s it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn’t use his & a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin & is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart

The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher, “Send the boy to the University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself!!

A goat & a chicken were discussing & walking along the roadside when, suddenly, a car passed and splashed
water on them. Angrily, the chicken hissed and said, “Don’t mind them that is how they drive, like a goat.”
The goat smiled and said, “Hmmm,
no wonder they die like chicken.”

Chicken story
A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.
Old cock to Young cock: “Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.
Young cock: What you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired. Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can’t I help you with some?
Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition & if I win you shall allow me to have one hen & if I lose you will have all.
Young cock: OK. What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meters run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters. Young cock: No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off & when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might. Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly, Bang…..! Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, “Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I’ve bought this week.”

How to know if u are Normal :

1. U have a facebook account

2. U have a blackberry or iphone or ipod

3. U watch MTV nd music channels

4. U r fully aware of adult stuff

6. U register to unlimited texts

7. U sleep late

9. U were so busy u forgot to read number 5

10. U actually scroll up again to see if there is number 5(don’t worry coz there is no number 8 as well )

11. Now u are smiling, possibly laughing @ yourself.

Categories of BBM Contacts:

1. The Regulars – They love fun and are regular broadcasters of nice messages.(y)
2. The LOLs – All They do on BBM is say ‘lol’, ‘lols’, ‘loools’ or any similar inane variant of any of the foregoing, to any msg you send. Annoying 8-|

3. The stalkers – All they do is check out your profile, DP, message or status, save pics of you and that’s it. Freaks/Pervs.:O

4. Gbegboruns – when this lot check out your profile, all they ask is ‘who be dis?’ Or ‘where you take dis pic?’ Or ‘wetin make u dey positive? Blah blah blah”. O ga o.:x

5. Ghosts – These ones never reply or send or change their DP or msg or do anything. You need to check their pulse once in a while to confirm if they’re still alive3-|

6. Off and ons – These ones na-
– How far?
– I dey.
– Kk
D conversation don end till another 6 monthsX_X.

7. Chameleons wey no get work wey just buy bb – these ones dey change their DP, msg and name every 5 mins, or dem go take ‘smiley’ and rubbish font write dem name you go begin find dem every time u wan send dem a msg. Bush wahalla :s.

8 The ones wey need to work with McAfee antivirus – Na every time their phone dey crash and they need to add you again and again and again.:p

9. Lamentators – one can write an epistle about them from their msgs…
– dis is my month IJN
– ah God save me from my boss
– I need money to renew my BB subscription ooo
– Traffic is bad on 3rd Mainland
– Transformer 3 was d bomb
– I just crossed Oshodi express way
– I luv u my mummy etc (=|:'(

Men, this Naija sef……U̶̲̥̅̊na know unaself!!!!!

Hope you enjoyed this set. Will be back next week with ‘Shit Happens’!

Have a great week!!!

BB Off

BB Off

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