Funnies!

So I got these joke apps on my laptop and I thot to share a couple of them that I found quite hilarious. Just check ’em out.

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The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

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A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on bullevard” and scratchs out his spelling error. “Head on bouelevard” Nope, doesn’t look right – scratch scratch. “Head on boolevard…” dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. “Head on curb.”

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A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, “What type of brain do you want?”
“What type?” the woman asked.
“Yes,” replied the doctor. “There is a substantial difference in price. For example, a one-pound brain of a surgeon costs $60,000, while you can get a one-pound brain of a nuclear physicist for $50,000, and so on.
“Can you give me a one-pound lawyer’s brain? Ever since I was a little girl I’ve dreamed of being a trial attorney.”
“That’s $250,000,” the doctor replied.
“Why so much? the woman asked. “That’s over four times what a surgeon’s brain costs.”
“Do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes to produce a pound of brain?” the doctor replied.

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If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL.
If you can touch it but you can’t see it, it’s TRANSPARENT.
If you can’t touch it but you can see it, it’s VIRTUAL.
If you can’t touch it and you can’t see it, it’s GONE.

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During a heated spat over finances the husband said, “Well, if you’d learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid.” The wife, fuming, shot back, “Oh yeah??? Well, if you’d learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener.”

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Ok, now that’s all for this week! Wait till next week for more Funnies!

Have a beautiful week!

Thank you!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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